” A guy she knew said it sounded narcissistic and pointless.
But Erika says that loving yourself, and being yourself, is a good thing.
On the rooftop of her Brooklyn apartment building this past spring, Erika Anderson put on a vintage-style white wedding dress, stood before a circle of her closest friends, and committed herself — to herself.“I choose you today,” she said.
Later she tossed the bouquet to friends and downed two shots of whiskey, one for herself and one for herself. To celebrate birthday #36 by wearing an engagement ring and saying: YES TO ME.
She had planned the event for weeks, sending invitations, finding the perfect dress, writing her vows, buying rosé and fresh baguettes and fruit tarts from a French bakery. I even made a registry, because this is America.”Self-marriage is a small but growing movement, with consultants and self-wedding planners popping up across the world.
Some came wearing wedding gowns; others carried flowers. “Imagine hearing 100 women stand in front of a mirror and speak the words that they have always longed to hear.”“I will never leave myself.”“I promise to ask for help when I’m suffering.”“I promise to look in the mirror every day and be grateful.” “I promise to give you the incredible life that you long for.” Now 27, Dominique is a self-marriage counselor and minister, offering services including consulting sessions and private ceremonies through her website, Self Marriage Ceremonies, which she runs from her home in northern California.People are waiting longer to marry as well: The median age at first marriage is at a new high for brides (26.5 years) and grooms (28.7 years). “It’s left over from centuries of one kind of marriage pattern and one path for women,” Traister says.She recalls reading books as a girl in which the story always ended when the heroine got married, as if that were the ultimate goal.“Marrying yourself is a way to commit to your dreams.It helps you go for the life you want if your life hasn’t fulfilled the storybook requirements.” Up on the roof in Brooklyn, Erika's self-wedding day became meaningful on a level she hadn’t expected.